The Marks Chronicles: Joshua Speak

THE EYES HAVE IT

I wrestled with Josh. He smashed his nose against mine and sneered "You have beady eyes mister".

 

CARBURGER

I was helping Josh with home work. There were pictures of three letter words, and the word spelled out with the middle letter missing. For example, there was a picture of a cat and the entry C_T. Josh was supposed to figure out the word from the picture and fill in the missing letter. One had a picture of an automobile and the entry C_R. Josh thought and muttered "a car?" and then with widened eyes and increased enthusiasm exclaimed "or maybe it's a Lamborgeeneeeee!".

A CLEAN SWEEP (1990)

Joshua was finishing his periodic vacuuming of the living room. It was his job. He turned off the vacuum, sighed, and announced to no one in particular "To be continued".

OTHER GODS (1990)

We were having a family reading from the Bible and had chosen to read the ten commandments. I read the commandment about having no other gods. I asked the kids if they could think of examples of other gods that some people might have. Joshua thought deeply and responded "Godzilla?"

WORKING AS AN UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILD (Christmas 1990)

A player piano was joyfully spewing forth carols at the mall. Joshua wishfully muttered "Geez. If we owned that type of piano, I wouldn't have to practice any more".

BACKWORDS

(February 1991) Joshua beamed. "Do you know what `Joshua' spelled backwards is?" Dramatic pause as we thought. "Skram!" A previous conversation had been confused.

MOTHER (May 1991)

Mother's day, 1991. Joshua was chosen as one of five children to tell the church congregation what was special about Mom. "I love Mom cause she took care of me her whole life." Kind of.

FULL OF IT (August 1991)

Josh patted his stomach after a gormet dinner and enthusiastically proclaimed "I'm stuffed with goooood food".

DIRECTIONS (September 1991)

Where are your brains? Josh answered "Up your nose and to the left!"

RECYCLING (September 1991)

Josh had poked at his gum line and it was bleeding a bit. "This is pretty neat, Dad. I just swallow my blood and don't even waste any".

King Josh (August 1992)

While in France, we had studied castles and kings. Eight year old Joshua typically internalized the study into his active fantasy. While he and I were wrestling, I grabbed his wrist. After struggling for a while, he stopped moving, starred me in the eye, creased his brow and, in an even voice, authoritatively ordered `Release the royal hand.' Later, when Jeremiah was doing something unlawful to Joshua's candy shop, Joshua found out and disappeared running down the stairs saying `He is now under indictment for treason to the Crown!' These are true marks of a future leader.

The Thinker (August 1992)

Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Doris learned of the spontaneous wit of Joshua during their visit in August 1992. Josh was tasked with the job of cleaning up his room. Charlie entered later. Josh was on the floor, his right ear and knees on the carpet and his butt stuck in the air. His arms were thread through his legs and stuck out the back. Charlie naturally queried `What are you doing?'. Without moving, Josh rolled his eyes up to make contact with Charlie's and said `Thinkin'. This might possibly be a new pose for a followup of the famous statue.

Keeping a Clean Head (August 1992)

Josh had bathed, or so he claimed. Charlie probed `If you took a bath, why is your hair dry?'. Without a missed beat, Joshua responded `Because I washed it first.'

A Man with Superb Taste (August 1992)

Joshua typically did not want to finish his supper. He looked at Connie and whined `I don't have the same taste buds everyone else has.'

Correction (August 1992)

Charlie's patience was wearing thin with Joshua at the store. He was picking up items and being somewhat rough with them. Charlie had told him repeatedly to behave. Frustrated, Charlie shook his finger at Joshua and sternly instructed `Joshua, I will NOT tell you again'. Josh retorted `That suits me just fine' and disappeared down the aisle.

Speaking of Tongues (September 1992)

Uncle Ray was visited and was sharing some of his more favorite food. Joshua told Ray that thinking about ice cream `makes my tongue juicy.'

Hampered Animation (December 1992)

The clothes hamper had a sock hanging out of the front on the left side. Josh opened it up, and put in a dirty shirt. He moved the hamper lid up and down and made munching sounds. The hamper lid closed. Joshua grabbed the sock, still sticking half out, and slid it from the left side to the right while making a slurping sound. It looked incredibly like a tongue licking lips. `Mmmmmmmm", he said moving the hamper lid up and down again. `Good shirt.' ¨ Waterless Tooth Brushing (August 1992)

How to Get Better (February 1996)

This one's pretty deep. Could make Barlett's. Joshua wanted to make the major league in baseball instead of playing another year on a farm team. Asked why, he replied "You don't get any better when you're the best one on the team".

Jeremiah's Advice (September 1992)

Doris came in the kitchen. Connie was cleaning and Jeremiah was setting the table. `Can I help?' asked Doris. Jeremiah drolly replied `If I was you, I wouldn't ask that question'.

Marilee (September 1992)

Marilee chanced in the room as Doris was dressing. Doris started and then was relieved. `Oh, that's all right. You're a girl', she told Marilee. Marilee turned on her cuteness. `Oh yes, just two of us girls. That's okay.'