Ninety Nine (Plus) Opi

by Robert J. Marks II

Lyrics

1. And Then Came You
2. Dear Sergeant
3. Delirium Tremens
4. Go On Home
5. Hungarian Lazonia
6. I'll Keep on Waiting
7. I'll Love You Always
8. I'm Sad and I'm Lonely
9. Lost
10. My Happy Family
11. On the Bananaboat
12. Opus 12
13. Please Don't Go
14. She's Mine
15. Someday
16. Sweet Death
17. Trying Not to Get Upset
18. Wishes
19. You Ain't Gonna Die, You're Gonna Ugly Away
20. You Done Lost Your Baby
21. You Just Run
22. Irrespective Dementia
23. On My Turpentine Farm
24. Impressions of a Disillusioned Suitor
25. Lady Fair
26. Die Hard Blues
27. Bitter Lemon
28. Think Again
29. I Think I'm in Love
30. Back Alley Blues
31. I Was Once Loved
32. Uncle Freddy
33. Cause You're Weird
34. Heartburn
35. By the Fireplace (I Sit & Watch Your Body Rot)
36. Singing My Troubles Away
37. Only a Fool
38. So I Cry
39. Come Back
40. One Endless Night
41. The Time of the Evening
42. Wondering Why
43. Ork, Wubber Ducky, Oink Oink & the Grommits
44. Goober Too
45. Red Eyes
46. Baby Doll
47. Throw Down Your Rose
48. Mother's Hot Yeast
49. Baby
50. Free
51. Albert & the Ice Cream Truck
52. Dance of the Libertine
53. Log in Eye
54. Wet Stone
55. Round Brown Plurble (With Fifths)
56. Bubonic Obature
57. The Greasy Clown Blues
58. Chew Your Stew
59. Daniel Two
60. Yellow Yokes
61. Connie
62. Conceived in Love
63. Daddy's Puncture
64. If I Had My Druthers
65. Arthur, the Drip
66. Jelly Beans
67. Chaw `Bacee
68. Glossclossnovich's Tune
69. Pregnant
70. Pepin the Short Revisited
71. Pre-Marital
72. In Good Time
73. One Soul's Journey
74. Broke Opus in F
75. The Hardships of Sammy
76. Smoke, Smoke, Smoke
77. Murky in the Delta Mississippi Swamp Gas Blues
78. As Much As I Love You
79. The Boltzmann Machine Rap Around
80. The Clean Room Song
81. In My Mind
82. Johnny Gumball
83. This Same Thing Happens Every Year
84. `Till Jeremiah Moved in Our Home
85. Together in the Lord
86. Who Smells Like a Pumpkin?
87. Durango
88. Who's the Best Daddy?
89. Fun to Fly
90. Joshua the Yazoo Kid
91. Ugly Sally
92. Iron Grits
93. Jesus Christ is Coming Back Again
94. Trophies
95. Boiled Asparagus
96. Glossclossnovich's Tea Dance
97. The Sonya Glossclossnovich Spontaneous Kazoo
Band Incident
98. Don't Eat That Stew!
99. Marilee's Melody
100. Lazarus Waltz & Fanfare
101. Do We Darwin, YES!
102. Pickin' Manna
103. Lazy Bum
104. `Lil Isaac
105. The Fall
106. Break Forth in Oscillation
107. Tristan Robert Marks
108. From Mud to Guppies



108. From Mud to Guppies

From mud to guppies
     Pollywogs
     Green frogs
          Brown plague rats
          To bats
     To cats with saber teeth
Mutate to monkey men
     Out kin
     To sin
To judges saying that right can be wrong.

     Are we mud?
     Are we mud?
     Are we mud?
     Are we mud?
     Are we mud?
     Are we all made of mud?

Darwin to Nietzshe
     Übermensch
     Auswitch
          Sanger to
          Roe-Wade
     Doctor Kevorkian
Communist purges
     Partial birth
     Murders
To athiests saying that wrong is all right.

     We're not mud!
     We're not mud!
     We're not mud!
     We're not mud!
     We're not mud!
     We are not made of mud!

From God to Adam
     Noah
     Moses
          David to
          Mary
     To the baptizer John
To Jesus the Christ
     Mankind's
     Sacrifice
God's word and spirit for all right and wrong.

     God made us!
     God made us!
     God made us!
     God made us!
     God made us!
     God made us!
     God made us all!


     God loves us!
     God loves us!
     God loves us!
     God loves us!
     Christ saves us!
     Christ saves us!
     Jesus is Lord!
          Jesus is Lord!


107. Tristan Robert Marks

Tristan Robert Marks
Born with all his parts
     And abundance of long dark hair.
He's more my grandson
Than most anyone
     Of whom I am aware.

There's some claim they see
How he looks like me
     But I think he looks more like him.
He's got four headlines
That's two less than mine
     But I guess they'll grow in.

Hey Tristan
     It's all right
Tristan
     If you cry
Tristan
     With all your might
Yo Tristan
     It's your right.
          There is a healing
          Expressing your feelings.

I like it when he
Looks then smiles at me
     And we connect down to our souls.
I can't say I do
Love him more than you
     But I won't say that I don't.

Hey Tristan
     When you smile
Yo Tristan
     You got style
Hey Tristan
     I think I'll
Tristan
     Stay a while
          And look at you
          Smiling at me smiling at you

Tristan Robert Marks
Stealing all our hearts
          I visit Tristan
          Go home and I miss him.
This magical boy
Turns sadness to joy
          Let the world behold
          This most awesome zero year old.
Tristan Robert Marks
Handsome, strong and smart!

106. Break Forth in Oscillation

Break forth in oscillation
Temporal continuity
With integer harmonics
Trying to avoid beat frequencies

If you sample our song
Avoid all aliasing
Make sure you exceed Nyquist
Or high notes are lower than they should be.

      Four hundred forty cycles per second
      Is our A above middle C
      The twelfth root of two is the ratio
      Of adjacent and tempered frequencies

(Repeat first verse)

104. `Lil Isaac

Daddy Don't!
Daddy Don't!
Daddy Don't!
Daddy Don't!
      Thank you Lord!

103. Lazy Bum

I’m a lazy bum., I'm a lazy bum
Got a lot of work, but I don't do none.
Just sit and strum in the morning sun.
Making up a song about a lazy bum.

I never quit working cause I never begin.
I never punch out cause I never punch in.
There ain't no job that's ever been
That I won't do, just tell me when.

My wife made me ask our doctor how come
I had a lot of work, but I don't do none.
The doctor ran tests, then told me "Son.
I've diagnosed you're a lazy bum." . (Repeat first verse twice.)

(Extra verses)

My wife asked me what I's doing today
I told her same as yesterday
She said I did nothing all day long
I told her I didn't quite get done.

When you think of Einstein you think brains
Think of Hitler, you think insane
When you think of Disney, you think of fun
Think of me, think lazy bum

101. Do We Darwin, Yes!

Come gather round you Darwin Scouts
And sing a song to drown your doubts
Embrace the cause of evolution
And join the growing revolution
          Do We Darwin, Yes .

Scientists more smart than me
All say that overwhelmingly
All the evidence is there
For evolution everywhere.
          Do We Darwin, Yes .

There's no intellectual escape
My great great grandpa is an ape.
I know that I am truly great
Because I've been evolved that way.
          Do We Darwin, Yes .

Maybe there is a loving God
Or maybe it’s all a façade.
But Darwin taught, and I’ve resolved
We weren’t created. We evolved.
          Do We Darwin, Yes .

There is no need for God in me.
I just believe the things I see.
Except I unconditionally
Accept the evolution tree.
          Do We Darwin, Yes .

When I die, there'll be no hurt.
I'll just rot and turn to dirt.
My death means naught, no cares, no fuss.
Just everlasting nothingness.
          Do We Darwin, Yes .

I know I am not the only
Scout who's feeling sad and lonely
I have the emptiness resolved
That's just the way that I evolved.
          Do We Darwin, Yes .

So when I’m down, I sing with pride
To drown the emptiness inside.
So sing with me, Let it all out
And celebrate the Darwin Scouts.
          Do We Darwin, Yes .
          Do We Darwin, Yes .

 

99. Marilee's Melody

You are a song inside of me
      Marilee Melodie
You are the rhyme and the harmony
      Marilee Melodie
 Rose apple cheeks on an sweet angle face
 Gold curly hair falling down on little girl lace
You are a song inside of me
      Marilee Melodie

You are a joy inside of me
      Marilee Melodie
You are love in my memory
      Marilee Melodie
 Young effervescence of wonder with life
 Manifestation of all that's good and right.
You are a joy inside of me
      Marilee Melodie

You are a light inside of me
      Marilee Melodie
Soft glowing love in warm memories
      Marilee Melodie
 Skipping and singing, celebrating life
 Innocence radiance beaming strong and bright
You are a song inside of me
      Marilee Melodie


98. Don't Eat that Stew!

  with R.A. Marks & Chris Marks

Don't eat that stew
The beef in it's blue
The ham looks bad too
It has a green hue

Don't eat that cake
It's not fully baked
The filling is fake
The frosting won't flake

      Don't eat red meat
      It makes your teeth pink
      And makes your hair kink
      And makes your breath stink

Don't drink that tea
Its consistently
Is that of cold grease
It makes my skip creep

      Don't listen to me
      I lie through my teeth
      And I never eat
      Do what you please

Don't do be do
Don't ba dee do
Dee ba da doe
Bee da da boe

 

97. The Sonya Glossclossnovich Spontaneous Kazoo Band Incident

           with R.A. Marks

Sonya sat alone
In her village home
Looking out her lonesome window
            She knew what she must do
            She got out her kazoo
            And played this simple melody

People from miles around
Heard this lovely sound
Coming forth from Sonya's window
            They all got their kazoos
            While Sonya played the tune
            The people sang the melody.

 

95. Boiled Asparagus

I could go outside and play
With my new turtle pet
            But here I sit
            Cause I ain't ate
                        My boiled asparagus

Mommy says until I eat it
Here I have to sit
            Me and my plate
            Will be up late
                        With boiled asparagus

            It smells a lot
            Like a dead rotting otter
            If I wish hard
            Maybe it will all go away.

I could go outside and play
With my new water jet
            But here I sit
            Cause I ain't ate
                        My boiled asparagus

            Mom is so pleased.
            I ate it like I ought to
            She double checks
            My pockets and on the floor

I'm outside and it feels weird
Squishing inside my pants
            But that's the price
            Of a life
                        Without asparagus.

94. Trophies

Sixty seven years have gone
My trophies lined upon the wall
I can't even count them all, Lord.
            Some are for accomplishment
            And some for fame and wars I've fought
            And some for reasons I forget.

In my younger driven days
I fought for fortune, fame and praise
And battled all who stood in my way, Lord.
            Now all the victories of the past
            And trophies given for conquest
            Have such a hollow loneliness

I strongly feel what I must do
Offer a sacrifice to you
Of all I've done and all I'll ever do, Lord.
            I'm puzzled that you don't receive
            My gift. Oh. But now I see
            All you really want is me.

 

93. Jesus Christ is coming back again

Stomp your feet and holler
Bang the pots and pans
Glory Hallelujah!
            Jesus Christ is coming back again.

Try to comprehend it
Try to understand
Maybe it's tomorrow
            When Jesus Christ is coming back again.

            Gather up the things that bug you
            The sorrows, sins and bitter fights
            Lay them at the feet of Jesus
            Watch them wither in the light!

Yell it from your roof tops
Tell it to you friends
Joy that can't be spoken
            Jesus Christ is coming back again.

            Give Him all the things that own you
            The worries and bad memories
            Let Him hold you in his big arms
            Feel His loving set you free!

Stomp your feet and holler
Bang the pots and pans
Sing a happy new song
            Cause Jesus Christ is coming back again.
            Jesus Christ is coming back again.
            Jesus Christ is coming back again


91. Ugly Sally

Ugly Sally stared through the pouring rain
It was Saturday night and she's alone again
Homely Benny Peters was due at eight
For a date with Ugly Sally, but he's two hours late
            Ugly Sally sat in her room
            All alone and feeling blue

Then with a joyous clang
The doorbell rang
            And there stood Handsome Bert
Sally grinned and bade him in
And asked what he wanted with her
            Bert bowed his head
            And softly said
            Without her love that he'd be dead
                        And the only girl
                        In this large world
                        For him was her

Ugly Sally stared through the pouring rain
It was Saturday night and she's alone again
Homely Benny Peters was due at eight
For a date with Ugly Sally, but he's three hours late
            Ugly Sally sat in her room
            All alone and feeling blue

 

90. Joshua the Yazoo Kid

Who meets me daily at the doorway
To tell me things that day he did
It's either thirty pounds of jabber
Or Joshua, the Yazoo Kid

Who won't eat broccoli `less you tell him
They're legs of a green slimy squid
It's either pure imagination
Or Joshua, the Yazoo Kid

            Who's running down the hallway
            Like lightning that was greased
            And hits you doing sixty
            Below the knees

Who wants to stay up and watch TV
Who's much more tired than he'll admit
It's either perpetual motion
Or Joshua, the Yazoo Kid

            Who's favorite food is bubblegum
            Who likes to salt the slugs
            Who curls up for a nap
            With his favorite potato bug

Who puts his head upon your shoulder
So sleepy cause he overdid
He's thirty pounds of honest loving
He's Joshua, the Yazoo Kid
Joshua, the Yazoo Kid

 

87. DURANGO

He lived in fear of his life
Each deathly silent night
His back against the wall
He suspected them all
            The gun from San Antone
            Was the fastest man has known
            And if his name you called
            Better be prepared to draw
                        On DURANGO

My brother practiced hard
Behind our father's barn
I watched his lightening speed
Become the fastest that I'd seen
            And on a golden morn in May
            My brother rode away
            To town to match his skill
            To draw against and kill
                        DURANGO

In the saloon, he sat tall
His back against the wall
His piercing eyes starred
At all who entered there
            Seeking the next man
            To challenge his hand
            Waiting for the day
            Someone faster would replace
                        DURANGO

Into town my brother came
To claim Durango's fame
To match his lightening guns
Against a man who'd always won
            Durango sat in fear
            He sensed the time was near
            In the saloon my brother came
            And called out the name
                        DURANGO

Even to this day
The town people say
In the places that they've been
And the gunfights that they've seen
            They have never seen two draws
            As fast as those they saw
            On that golden morn in May
            When my lifeless brother lay
                        At the feet of DURANGO
 
The people didn't care
That the gun fight was fair
All the town folk said
They wished Durango dead
            And swore it was a fact
            That a bullet in the back
            Would soon put an end
            To the devil's closest friend                       
DURANGO

So late that moon lit night
In fear of his life
His guns still hanging low
Away Durango rode
            Into the desert night
            He rode to save his life
            To find a safer home
            For the gun from San Antone
                        DURANGO

Under a desert tree
I waited patiently
With my dead brother's gun
I waited for him to come
            To fill full of lead
            He who shot my brother dead
            To wait `till he rode past
            And shoot in the back
                        DURANGO

Soon I heard him come
And readied my brother's guns
As he was riding past
I took aim at his back
            Durango sensed my thoughts
            And turned as I shot.
            My bullet pierced his chest
            And I saw fall dead the best.
                        DURANGO

I took him dead to town
The people gathered round
They thought from what they saw
That I had beat the draw
            Of DURANGO

Now in the saloon I sit tall
My back's against the wall
Knowing that the first man
Who challenges my hand
            Will lay me in the grave
            And inherit the fame
            Of the man with better skill
            Than the one that shot and killed
                        DURANGO
 

85. Together in the Lord

        ( ) = Bobby, [ ] = Together, Otherwise, Connie

Dearest Bobby,
(Lovely Connie)
Today we will be
(Mutually married)
            [Together in the Lord]
            [So glad to know]
                        [He loves us so.]
I'll be your Queen
(I'll be your King)
Our hearts will sing
(Through everything)
            [Together in the Lord]
            [So glad to know]
                        [He loves us so.]
            [As years pass by]
            [We'll grow alike]
            [Living our lives to see]
            [What we're to be.]

Tell me you do
(Lord, I love you)
I love you to
(That makes it two)
            [Together in the Lord]
            [So glad to know]
                        [He loves us so.]
            [My heart will sing]
            [As I wear your ring]
            [Through everything, feeling fine]
            [`Cause you are mine]

{Repeat first verse}


84. `Till Jeremiah (Moved in our Home)

I never woke at four AM
To little cries I must attend
I was never rockin' all night long
`Till Jeremiah moved in my home

I never acted like such a fool
Making' faces and saying `goo'
Nobody ever snuck and sucked on my comb
`Till Jeremiah moved in my home

            He came to us six months ago
            A gift from God, or so I'm told
            I tried real hard, but couldn't see
            How at all he looked like me

I never knew one so minute
Could drool so much on my best suit
Nobody ever screamed when I was on the phone
`Till Jeremiah moved in my home

            Wigglin' gigglin' continuously
            I never seen such energy
            And I never wrote a baby song
            `Till Jeremiah came along

No one would ever dare
To grab and pull my littlest hairs
I wouldn't believe it unless I was shown
`Till Jeremiah moved in my home


83. This Same Thing

This same thing happens every year
Our day comes along
            And your not here.
I think about the way things were
And wonder how they'd be
            Had you been cured.

I try to understand, but Lord, it isn't fair
To have the only one in this world that you cared for
            Gone.

I close my eyes and feel the night
We learned that those few months
            Remained in all you life.
I see the tears in your brave eyes
And feel the hurt when you said
            Things would be all right.

Each moment was more precious than the one before
And though each day I prayed and pleaded with the Lord
            You're gone.

This same thing happens every year.
Our day comes around
            And you're not here.

 

82. Johnny Gumball

When I was just a boy
My Mother said `Park that gum!'
`Quit `yer blowin' bubbles'
`And do things that need done.'
            But I stayed up one night
            And figgered me up a plan.
            I ran away from Mom
            And became Gumball Man.
Yeah, go tell the world good news
Yeah, the gumball man's on the move.

            I got an old used shovel
            And a big bag of gum ball seeds
            Traveled `cross the land
            Plantin' everybody gumball trees.
Yeah, you people gather `round
Yeah, when the Gumball Man comes to town.

            With a burlap bag of seeds
            Wearin' rags and a six inch beard.
            I'm making' lots of gumball trees grow
            Far and near
Yeah, let the whole world know.
Yeah, look at them bubbles blow.
Yeah, rock back and wiggle your toes.
Yeah, look at them gumballs grow.


81. In My Mind

Sittin' thinkin' `bout my baby
Thinkin' what I'd like to do.
Gettin' down the picture she gave me
To look at when I'm blue
            My mind materializes my baby
            Totally in heart and soul
            The picture that she gave me saves me
            From bein' lonely no more.

            In my mind
            I'm feelin' fine.
            I close my mind
            And I find
                        She's at my side.
            I'm feelin' fine
            In my mind
            33, 17,
                        29.

Sittin' thinkin' `bout my baby
Knowin' there ain't nothin' new.
Fanticizin' lovin' my baby
Like we used to do.
            Wish I had my pretty baby
            To love me head to toe.
            Wish she didn't die in eighty nine
            And left me all alone
                        Totally in body in soul.
                        She made my sad heart whole.


80. The Clean Room Song

In your room under your bed
Lives a mean red fox
            Who feet first clings
            To the mattress springs
And lives on dirty sox.

He likes to eat fuzz balls and things
That are not put away
            Coats and toys
            And corduroy
And things in disarray

(Chorus)
The more he eats the bigger he grows
If he gets to big, he'll bite off your toes
And your fingers too, and even your head
If you let them dangle over the bed.

His favorite snack is little boy's slacks
Thrown on a heap on the floor
He loves to chew on discarded shoes
And feeding him makes him want more

(Chorus)
So clean your room and pick up your clothes
And starve the mean fox dead
So when you sleep, you can let your feet
Hang over the foot of the bed.
            So that you can keep your right hand
            So that your head will not be fed
            To the fox that's colored red
            Living under your bed.


79. The Boltzmann Machine Rap Around

         with R.A. Marks & L.E.H. Marks

Negative Jane & Negative John
Never went out and never had fun
They both stayed at home sucking their thumbs
Negative Jane & Negative John.
            Said Negative Jane to Negative John
            `Down the path comes Positive Tom'
            "I've come to your house to suck my thumb!"
            Said Positive Tom to Negative John.
Said Positive Tom to Negative Jane
"Why didn't you eat your chicken chow mein?"
`I thought I saw little blue chunks of tomain
`Floating on top', said Negative Jane.
            uh, Uh, UH!

Said Negative John to Negative Jane
`I think that your stomach is twitching again'
`I'm having such awful abdominal pains!
`My tummy is throbbing!' said Negative Jane.
            So Negative John and Negative Jane
            And Positive Tom went out in the rain
            To visit a good doctor who could explain
            The reason for pain in Negative Jane.
Said Positive Tom to Negative Jane
"Have any tapes by the Boltzmann machine
"To play in the car as we drive through the rain
"To the doctor?".  `NO!' screamed Negative Jane.
            The doctor examined poor negative Jane
            "The source of the hurting, I have ascertained
            Is not due to food or drink or tomain"
            The doctor then smiled at Negative Jane.
            uh, Uh, UH!

Said Negative John to Negative Jane
`We've got to come up with appropriate names'
`For our new babe'.  Then Tom explained
`An appropriate name is positive Lane'
            Said Positive Tom to Negative Jane
            And Negative John `Let me explain'
            `Together two negatives in any way'
            `Must make a positive!' Thomas explained.
So Positive Tom and Negative Jane
And Negative John and Positive Lane
Popped a cork on expensive champagne
And put on a tape by the Boltzmann Machine.
            uh, Uh, UH!


78. As Much as I Love You (The Farmersburg News)

If I wanted to
I could make the Farmersburg News.
If I could kick a football
As far as I love you.
            It would go so long and high
            It'd disappear into the sky
            And circle the world `bout ninety times
                        That's what it would do.

If I wanted to
I could really make the Farmersburg News.
If I could run in circles
As fast as I love you.
            I could stir up big typhoons
            Disturb the peace with sonic booms
            And from the sky suck in the moon
                        That's what I could do.

If I had thirst to match my love
I could drink oceans dry.
If I breathed deep to match my love
I'd inhale the sky.

If I wanted to
I could buy the Farmersburg News
If I earn the money
To match my love for you.
            And I could pay the nation's dept
            Buy GM and the New York Mets
            And rent Utah for a summer rest
                        That's what I could do.

If I was big as love for you
I'd stand `bout ten miles tall.
If I had muscles to match my love
They'd look like bowling balls.

If we wanted to
We could make the Farmersburg News
If your deep love for me
Matched my love for you
            We'd be on the social page
            Tellin' the world that we're engaged
            And plan ourselves a wedding day
                        And I'm so glad you do
                        Love me like you do
                        As much as I love you.


77. Murky in the Delta Mississippi Swamp Gas Blues

I got `dem swamp gas blues
From `dat muskrat stew
Got `dem swamp gas blues
From that delta ooze
            I'm set free
            Inside of me
I got `dem murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas blues

You take `dem musk rat thighs
And some nice white rice
`Pinch of cat tail spice
Mix it up just right
            Some red beans
            From New Orleans
You got some murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas stew.

You mix it up just right
Let it sit over night
In the morning light
It's guaranteed to set you free.

So you all come down soon
Cause you's overdue
For some musk rat stew
And some corn bread too
            We'll whistle the tune
            By the summer moon
Of the murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas
Murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas
Murky in the delta Mississippi swamp gas blues.


76. Smoke Smoke Smoke

               with M.Ford, D. Kato &  D. Haldeman

I begged you since the first time that we met
To please quit smoking those damn cigarettes
And now you lie in this hospital bet
Gaggin' and a chokin' and a coughin' off your head.

Today they cut out half of your right lung
Tonight they start on the other one
Poor Jane my dear, I'm `fraid that you're `bout done.
So grab a pack and have a drag of fun.

Have, have, have another cigarette.
Try to inhale deeply into your poisoned chest.
Smoke, smoke, smoke
`Cause you ain't quite dead yet
Go ahead and smoke another cigarette.

Don't expect for me to pity you
Your lying there has long been over due
It takes a strong will to quit, it's true
But it takes a lot of guts to face cancer too.

Throughout the years you've smoked those cigarettes
They made your teeth yellow and stunk up your breath
Burnt holes in your blouse and in the bed
So celebrate, go ahead.

Have, have, have another cigarette.
Try to inhale deeply into your poisoned chest.
Smoke, smoke, smoke
`Cause you ain't quite dead yet
Go ahead and smoke another cigarette.
 

75. The Hardships of Sammy

Sammy was a man
Oh, golly, what a man
With a smile on his lips
And a fist for a hand
With the eyeballs of an eagle
And muscles made of rocks
The nostrils of a beagle
And the brain of an ox
            So let the world beware
            Ol' Sammy didn't care
            He was rough, tough, hard to bluff
            And used to hardships.

He worked on a liner
Ported out of New Orleans
Shovelin' coal the whole day long
Kept Sammy lean and mean
The hot and fiery furnace
Kept the ship movin' on
As Sammy sang and shoveled coal
All day and all night long
            Yeah, let the world beware
            Ol' Sammy didn't care
            He was rough, tough, hard to bluff
            And used to hardships.

One balmy Sunday evening
Coming clear out of the blue
Bloody pirates boarded Sammy's ship
And massacred the crew
Only Sammy was alive
So he kept `a fightin' on
To rid his boat of pirates
So he could sail on home.
            So, let the world beware
            Ol' Sammy didn't care
            He was rough, tough, hard to bluff
            And used to hardships.
           
But the pirates kept on fighting
And Sam kept fighting back
Till Sammy got a brainstorm
And climbed the main mast
Where he spit and spat and cursed and cussed
His bloodthirsty foes
The pirates spit and cussed right back
From where they was below
Sammy hung right in there
Till the pirates became smart
And took their sabers from their teeth
And chopped the mast apart
Sammy in his tower
Started swaying right and left
And after falling ninety feet
He splattered on the deck
            But, let them all beware
            Cause Sammy didn't care
            He was rough, tough, hard to bluff
            And used to hard ships.
 

73. One Soul's Journey

Now, my body says to stop and rest awhile.
Now, my eyes look towards the final mile.
            I look and see
            The apple tree
            I look and see the apple tree
                        And love of life beyond there.

I crawl, my body aching with it's gift of life.
I pray, I pray my journey's going to end tonight.
            The apple tree
            Looks down on me
            The knowledge tree looks down on me
                        But Son of Man is smiling.

My body dies.  I reach out my hand trembling.
His hand grasps mine.  And drags my gently towards the tree,
            I see the smile
            More clearly now.
            I see the smile more strongly now
                        And feel its comfort in me.

I see the light.  The Son is sitting beautifully.
My spirit's might.  Increases as he pulls me past the tree.
            I rise to my feet
            There to meet
            I rise to my feet, there to meet
                        God.
 

72. In Good Time

I know that it's late
And the tater bugs
Are thick in the field
Eatin' our spuds.
            I swear to you, woman
            I'll kill every one
                        In good time.

I know that the weeds
Are chokin' the corn
And all of the beans
Are smothered with thorns
            I'll hoe `em all out
            Like a thunder storm
                        In good time.

So sit your body down
And let it suck up some of this sun.
It ain't the time for fixin' things
Or gettin' nothin' done
Sip some ice cold lemonade
And feel it's cool caress.
Close your eyes and shut your mouth
And give your jaws a rest.

I know the roof leaks.
It's leaked since spring.
But it's sunny now.
No leaks and no rain,
            But I'll buy some tar
            And plug everything
                        In good time.

I'm gonna sit here in this shade
And sing a lazy song.
Sip my ice cold lemonade
And do nothin' all day long
And plug my ears so I can't hear
You tell me what to do.
You're waggin' tongue's about as fun
As when I had the flu.

Yeah, I'll get to work.
I'll clean the barn.
I'll fix the roof
And I'll hoe your corn.
            I'll kill all them bugs
            And pull up the thorns
                        In good time.
 

71. Pre Marital

Key: ( )=boy; [ ]=unison; otherwise, girl

Take your time (We don't mind)
Take your time (We'll be fine)
Have some trust in me and my morality tonight.

            Dearest Mom & Dad
            You look so suspiciously sad
            But you better get on the move
            Or they will start without you
(And take your time)
Have a good time
(Take your time)
We'll stay in line
(I won't stay long)
(Cause I gotta be home by nine)

            Have a happy time
            I'm sure your party will be fine
            And before you leave to come home
            Please call to let me know
But take your time
(We'll keep in line)
Take your time
(We'll be fine)
[We know it's understood]
[That we will both be good tonight.]

[We know it's gotta look odd]
[With both of us here.]
            But I hope you will trust me.
[We'll just play some games]
(And I'll leave like I came)
            [Wholesome, clean and innocently.]

            Here's your party hats (your liquor)
            And your cigarettes
            [Please lock the front door as you leave]
            And let me have the house key.
(And take your time)
Have a good time
Take your time
(We'll be fine)
Have some trust in me and my morality tonight.
[We've memorized the song of differences of wrong and right]
Take your time
(We don't mind)
Take your time
(We'll stay in line
[We wouldn't dare to do anything you wouldn't do tonight.]


67. Chaw Bacee

In the morning when I get up
I rub my eyes and then I sit up
I reach for my pouch and I get some
Hwok! Put! Ding! Chaw bacee.
Chaw bacee, chaw bacee, Lord I love my chaw bacee.

When my breakfast's done been eatin'
And I'm thru with chores and feedin'
I reach for my pouch and I get me
Hwok! Put! Ding! Chaw Bacee.
Chaw bacee, chaw bacee, Lord I love my chaw bacee.

There's some who say there's nothin' worser than a juicy chew
            They tried it once when they was young
            And gagged until they's blue.
Though I recall when I was young that happened to me to.
            Today without my chaw bacee
            Don't know what I'd do.

In the sunny afternoon
My cheek sticks out like a balloon
I take an aim for my spittoon
And Hwok! Put! Ding! Chaw Bacee.
Chaw bacee, chaw bacee, Lord I love my chaw bacee.

You can smoke your cigars and your filter cigarettes
            Pack your pipe and spend the day
            Keepin' the dang thing lit.
Play your cards & gulp your beer & place your two buck bets.
            Gimme chaw bacee
            It's the best vice yet.

In the evenin' watchin' the tube
I shovel in a juicy big chew
Turn my head `twords the spittoon
And Hwok! Put! Splat! Dang!
Hwok! Put! Splat! Dang!
Hwok! Put! Ding! Chaw bacee.
Chaw bacee, chaw bacee, Lord I love my chaw bacee.


65. Arthur, the Drip

Arthur was a little drip
Who drifted all around
And watched the world from three miles up
In a fluffy cloud
            Arthur's girl was Judy
            A pretty little drip
            Together they sailed the deep blue sky
            In their fluffy ship.
One day Art's cloud darkened
And spit out lightening balls
And Art condensed and Judy cried
As he began to fall.
            Art felt the wind whip by him
            And forced a look around
            And saw millions of fellow drops
            Falling to the ground.
Arthur fell for two miles
And landed on hard dirt
It broke his nose and sprained his brain
And make his ankles hurt
            Art pulled himself together
            To be swept down a drain
            In a flowing raging current
            Of fellow drops of rain.
Art floated in the sewer
And down a drainage pipe
He bobbed and swirled and pitched and rolled
Well into the night
            When the sun bought morning
            Art emptied in a stream
            That emptied to a river
            That emptied in the sea.
Art was a drip no longer
But part of a big sea
He hated to be crowded
With no identity
            He thought of pretty Judy
            And the good times that they had
            And knew he loved and missed that girl
            It made him feel real bad.
Arthur bobbed and floated
From mid July to May
When a miracle happened to Arthur Drip
One balmy summer day.
            While floating on the surface
            Of the motionless sea
            Art evaporated
            And drifted skywardly.
Up and up and upward
Shot Arthur in the air
Away from hustle bussle
Away from crowds and cares.
            He floated high and mighty
            In the freedom he'd forgot
            He breathed in deep and then gave thanks
            For summers, warm and hot.
Art floated to a cloud
To see if Judy was there
He looked and asked and searched but cried
Cause nobody knew where
            As Arthur got depressed
            He heard a little voice
            His head shot up, he saw his girl
            So pretty, round and moist.
Arthur's lips met Judy's
And two drips became one
Their surface tension merged their minds
And their new life had begun
            Now Art and Judy have love
            In every type of weather
            Knowing that if the storm comes back
            They'll rain to earth together.
Arthur is a little drip
Who drifts all around
And watches the world from three miles up
In a fluffy cloud


64. If I Had My Druthers

I'm sorry for the bad words
The drinkin' and the lies
And now you say you're leavin'
And I understand why.
            Hon, I'll try to be much better
            In doin' things I do
            And if you give me my druthers
            I'd druther stay with you.

If you leave our home, dear
You'll take half my life
For what good is a husband
Without a lovin' wife
            Dear, I'll try to quit my drinkin'
            And try to start anew.
            Please just give me my druthers
            Cause I'd druther stay with you.

Fightin's good for only making one and one from two.
It takes a we and chops it up into a me and you
Now you gotta make your mind up what you're gonna do
And if my druthers count, I'd druther say for you.

So please forgive my actions
Take my apology
I'll make up all the bad times
Darlin' can't you see
            Hon, I'll love you more than ever
            And want your lovin' to
            Please just give me my druthers
            I'd druther stay with you
                        I want you to feel the love dear
                        That I feel for you.


63. Daddy's Puncture

Bill needs to find the scissors
To cut out baseball cards
on the Crunchy's cereal box
He emptied in the yard.
            Mommy, Dan, Barnard and Blanche
            Must have looked everywhere
            When Daddy found them easily
            Sitting in his chair.

Dad shot up like a bullet
And yelled a curdling yell.
His eyes got blurred, his flesh got flushed
He passed out, then he fell.
            Mom woke Dad with her screaming
            While Dan beat up Barnard
            And Bill pulled out the scissors
            And cut out baseball cards.

Dad was bleeding badly
And couldn't hardly moved
We helped him up and drove to Doc's
On an inner tube.
            Doc gave Dad twelve stitches
            And asked him how he feels
            And told him to sleep back side up
            Until the puncture healed.

One month and twelve fights later
Dad felt without a doubt
His wound was healed and it was time
To get his stitches out.
            Dad got red as a berry
            When Ol' Doc's nurse, Lucille
            Took out the stitches one by one
            And raved how well he'd healed.

Dad still walks kind of funny
Dan still beats up Barnard
Mommy cooks and Blanchie dries
And Bill cuts baseball cards.
            The moral of the story
            As you can probably guess
            Is looking for sharp scissors
            Is a pain in the ... neck.


61. Connie

Connie
A ray of sunshine on a cloudy day
Could never match the beauty and the ways of you.

Connie
You brighten patches never lit before
And kindle fires never aflame before you.

            In the radiance of your eyes
            The whole world seems to spin and fall
            I would pray to live and die
                        With you.

Connie
I love the sounding of your precious name
And how your lovliness puts all to shame around you.

            Let me touch your flowing hair
            The warmness of your gentle smile
            Let me feel sweet loving care
                        From you.

And Connie
When to me the judgement of your heart's tied
I'll dedicate my only life to you.

Connie


60. Yellow Yokes

I'm an egg man
Best that can be found.
Snowy white eggs
Chicken's make`em round.
            I'm in eggs, man
            Workin' not to beg.
            My chicken's want you
            To buy yourself an egg.
Yellow yokes
            Whiter whites
                        Firmer form
                                    Better bites.
Happy chicks
            Squeezed and laid
                        The very best
                                    So buy my eggs.

I'm an egg man
Get a little pole
Buy an egg, man
Poke a little hole.
            Suck an egg man
            Taste it oozing in
            Buy another
            Share it with a friend.
Yellow yokes
            Whiter whites
                        Firmer form
                                    Better bites.
Happy chicks
            Squeezed and laid
                        The very best
                                    So buy my eggs.

Buy an egg man
Fry away your fears
Boil it, poach it
Put it in your beer.
            I'm your egg man
            For all your needs in eggs
            Let's get egg breath
            The rest of our days.
Yellow yokes
            Whiter whites
                        Firmer form
                                    Better bites.
Happy chicks
            Squeezed and laid
                        The very best
                                    So buy my eggs.


59. Daniel Two

Nebuchadnezzer dreamed
A strange forgotten dream
And after his troubled sleep
It slipped his memory
He tried to find it in his mind it seems.

Nebuchadnezzer cried
To the smart and the wise
To tell him of his dream
And what his nightmare means
And they to tried to strain their minds it seems

            When Daniel, the Jew boy,
            Said he knew of the dream
And what's more, everything that it means.

`You dreamed of a statued man
With silver chest, arms and hands.
His belly and thighs were cast
In ordinary brass
With iron legs and feet of clay-iron mixed.'

`As the golden head watched
A mountain spew forth a rock.
With a mighty Godly smash
To bits the statue crashed
Of silver and gold and clay and iron and brass.'

            "Oh Daniel, you Jew boy,
            That is just what I dreamed.
Now tell me if you can what it all means."

`The golden head is your great kingdom.
The other parts are kingdoms to come.
Kingdoms which rule the world
The ugly beautiful world
And like them all, they will fall to my Lord.'

`The mountain is my dear Lord.
And the rock is my Lord.
And when the smashing's done
The rock will then become
A large mountain to overcome the world.'

            And Daniel, the Jew boy
            Looked up at Nebuchadnezz
And he knew in his heart that All were pleased.

Nebuchadnezzer dreamed
A strange forgotten dream


58. Chew Your Stew

Throw the pig's head in the stew
Might throw the feet and tail in too.
We'll sit and watch what it will do.
And later on we'll climb in too.
            I don't think it will bother me
            Just as long as I can be with you
                        Baby, you.
            If everything goes right
            We'll be in the stew tonight too
                        Me and you.
When the pig is finally dead
We will divvy up the head
And maybe we'll chew the stew.

Don't know what we're going to do.
The pig head sunk down in the stew.
There go the feet and tail down too.
I'll try to get them with the spoon.
            I don't think it will take to long
            Help me not to do it wrong
                        Ooooo, baby, you.
            Get a spoon that's two feet long
            We'll get a head and be alone, too
                        Me and you.
Get a saw from the shed
And we'll divvy up the head
Half mine, half is for you.

Throw your heart into the stew.
I'll sit and watch what it will do.
And then I'll throw my heart in too.
Us and the pig there in the stew.
            I don't think I can take much more
            Better get the knives and forks
                        Two, for me and you.
            Strain you buds and try to savor
            All of the stew's subtle flavor
                        Too, for me and you.
Come again tomorrow night
We'll cook a worm by candle light
And together chew the stew.


57. The Greasy Clown Blues

The greasy clown spat
In Fat Ann's face
Fat Ann flabbed the greasy clown
All over circus place.
            But the greasy clown loved it.
            He loves the way that flabbing feels.
He grinned and groaned
Went home and let it heal.

The greasy clown sat
In Bertha's den
And pushed and pulled the elephant
Until it set on him.
            But the greasy clown loved it.
            It had such wonderful appeal.
He grinned and smiled
Went home and let it heal.

The greasy clown smiles when it's day.
At night, he wipes the grease away.

The greasy clown chewed
A tube of paint.
He licked his lips and fell down dead
And lie there like a saint.
            Cause the only good clowns
            Are clowns that have no spark of life
Like the greasy clown
When grease turned out the light.


54. Wet Stone

            My big thing is time machines that spurt and sway then go away in time and space to some far place where all T.B.'s are hung on trees and left to dry.
            Pull the knob and feel it throb as Hector Green (my time machine) spews forth in time to days of slime where raging mobs turn into snobs and start to dry.
                        Time machines aren't human beings
                        They're cold grey things
                        Yet my machine
                        `Ol Hector Green
                                    Is neat.
            Cave man days are bright and gay with trees and things with birds that sing the same old song the whole day long and then they lay their round white eggs and suck it dry.
            Think I'll go to Mexico, see Aztec kings and Aztec queens watch as their gold is outright sold by conquer queers who make queen tears as kink tears dry.
                        Time machines aren't human beings
                        They're cold grey things
                        Yet my machine
                        `Ol Hector Green
                                    Is neat.
            Pull the string, I'm off to Spain where matadors dressed in tight drawers stab bulls in heads until they're dead, cut off their ears so they can't hear their bull blood dry.
            Time machines are my big thing.  I deeply feel that their appeal is based on fact and further that without them we would be as fleas - bone desert dry.
                        Time machines aren't human beings
                        They're cold grey things
                        Yet my machine
                        `Ol Hector Green
                                    Is neat.


53. Log in Eye

Dear Brother John
The night crawls on
My body's weak though my mind's strong.

My mind asks why
Although I've tried
The Good Lord has damned me to die.
            I gave my life
            To learn His love
            And spread His good Word
            Blessed by heaven above.

Why must I die?
Lord know's I've tried
I search my mind and can't see why.

John, can't you see
His love for me
Has never been and will never be.
            With Job's sure patience
            I studied late
            Saved souls by thousands
            From Satan's fiery gate.

Near grows the time
Dear John, good-bye
I feel the dead end drain of life.

The night grows old
My blood runs cold
Herein, body, mind and soul
... and soul ... and soul


51. Albert & the Ice Cream Truck

Albert scratched his forearm
Listening for the chimes
Whistling Dixie Doodle Dandy
Clutching at his dime
            Sweat dripped from his forehead
            Flowing down his locks
            `Oer his steaming body, downward
            Soaking his damp socks.
Wishing there had been ample time
To ask Mommy for the dime.
            Steaming inside
            Broiling alive
            Listening for chimes
            Squeezing his dime.

Albert strained his eardrums
He heard a ding-a-ling
A smile spread over his features
As he listened to it sing.
            Wet fingers hotly sweating
            Squeezed his security
            The price of small refreshment
            To cure hot humidity.
Mom's purse was just passively sitting there
Don't think that for a dime she would care.
            Squeezing his dime
            Hearing the chimes
            Steaming inside
            Broiling alive.

Albert saw it coming
Albert squeezed his dime
Which slipped through sweating fingers, rolling
Before the chimes.
            Bending to pick the coin up
            The truck ran `oer his head
            Scattering Albert's grey stuff all over
            Making Albert dead.
Wishing that there had been ample time
To ask Mommy for the dime.
            Poor Albert died
            Clutching his dime
            As the bright chimes
            Distantly died.


50. Free               

            Hey I threw mine away
            Say I threw mine away
            Hey I threw mine away
Grabbed a mental knife
Slashed periodic life
Hey I threw mine away
Dedicate my being
To unreal anarchy
Spending my life
Tryin'' to blow minds
Sewing freedom seeds
Sowing freedom seeds
            Grey and like a time clock
            Opening flip top cans
            Always grinning grayly
            With their bird in hand
                        Hey I threw mine away
                        Say I threw mine away
                        Hey I threw mine away
Laugh as the oppressed things
Scurry neath my being
Going bored `till they say
`t hell with all of the ends
Do it for grins
Just live for today
I threw mine away
            Is it any wonder
            That your face is red
            Is it any wonder
            That your heart is bled
                        Hey I threw mine away
                        Say I threw mine away
                        Hey I threw mine away


48. Mother's Hot Yeast

`Hell' cried his mother as she watched her cookie crumble
Crushed `twixt his finger bones with his eyes all humble
            Don't you know that I don't know
            That you do not know why
            His brother belched, fell off his chair
            And didn't even cry.

TV eyes and TV minds searching through the ruins
Watching rats bite off their tales and so passively chew `em
            They don't know that we now know
            That they swallowed the fly
            Once dabbed in salt the tails did rot
            And didn't even try.

Elbow minds of twisted monks limping through the oceans
Trying hard to save the fish and their sucker lotion
            Beat their brains and brain their band
            With their elbow minds
            And let them lie out in the sun
            And maybe try to try
                        To try to try.


47. Throw Down Your Rose

Crawling out your Uncle's alley
I eat your flowing flowered robe
The warmness of your pet Italian
And his pet's pet plastic crow
            With that I'll younger you
            Until you do
            Uncle too
            To do you
                        Throw down your rose.

As the long light night lingers
The bright white starts to glow
You scratch your scabby scratching fingers
Knowing Uncle only knows
            With that I'll dip your ear
            In flat warm beer
            Uncle's queer
            Queer beer ear
                        Throw down your rose.

As your purple pregnant passions
Cheerfully chew up your soul
Midget minds will waken Uncle
And he'll never sleep no more
            With that I'll bite your back
            Around your fat
            Until it's black
            Fat black back
                        Throw down your rose.

Crawling back to Uncle's alley
Feelin' my meatball muscles grow
Nicely nourished by emotion
And your flowing flowered robe
            With that I'll pinch your head
            Watch it get red
            See it dead
            Dead red head
                        Throw down your rose.


46. Baby Doll

In my crass crude rat filled life
Lives a pretty girl
In my mind she's much alive
Lighting my dark world.
            Though she may be in my mind
            She's my love and she's my life
                        My Baby Doll
                        I don't think I could at all
                        Ever live without you
                        Don't know what I'd do without you.

Though some say you're not healthy
For my busy mind
Without you and your sweet love,
What would mean my life?
            So, don't you dare feel blue
            I will never leave you
                        My Baby Doll
                        I don't think I could at all
                        Ever live without you
                        Don't know what I'd do without you.

Time goes on and I'll grow old
And leave this rat race
You'll stay young as that great day
My eyes closed and saw your face
            What else could I need
            Except your love and care for me
                        My Baby Doll
                        I don't think I could at all
                        Ever live without you
                        Don't know what I'd do without you.


45. Red Eyes

Deadened life will frozen fast
By the dull grey wizard
As in life, they fell down white
Dead against the blizzard.

            Red eyes, dancing
            Longing for summer
            Slowly dieing
            Closed in eternal slumber
            No where to go.
            Lying dead in the snow.
                        No where to go.
                        God only knows.

Frozen fast, minds decay
As the drifts grow higher
Never ceasing, just increasing
Wizards don't inspire.

            Red eyes, yawning
            Freezing for summer
            Slowly dieing
            Closed in eternal slumber.
            No where to go.
            Lying dead in the snow.
                        No where to go.
                        God only knows.

Minds may rot but thoughts live on
Etched in minds of wizards
Who spew up their fowl remains
Forming blazing blizzards.

            Red eyes, dancing
            Longing for summer
            Slowly dieing
            Closed in eternal slumber
            No where to go.
            Lying dead in the snow.
                        No where to go.
                        God only knows.


44. Goober Too

Oh Goober, I tried to
But no one's there
They saw me, and feared me
And all fled in despair
            I yelled and heard them hiding there
            But they don't care.

I watched them and told them
About the iron bed
That fell from my penthouse
And hit your head
            They'd rather sit and rot
            And see you dead.

I pleaded with Engelman
To please help me
He told me he couldn't walk
He'd threw his knee
            It seemed so strange he never
            Did look at me.

I pleaded that I'd need
To help, just one
They got up, some walked out
The rest did run
            They said they's late
            For swimming lessons.

Oh Goober, I tried to
But no one's there
They told me without words
They didn't care
            I guess you'll just have to lie there and bleed
            And pull your hair.

It's getting so darn late
I really gotta go
If you die, the garbage guy
Will pick up all your bones
            But if you live
            Won't you please let me know.


43. Ork, Wubber Ducky, Oink Oink & the Grommits

All of the Grommits gathered
Down at Wubber Ducky's pier
They threw an enormous party
With lots of grape vodka and beer.
Sittin' round and scratchin'
And sippin' Ork's grape bottled tears.

When down came Wubber Ducky
And his brother Oink Oink Dick.
And started gronking grommits
With Brother Oink Oink's phallic stick.
When a Grommit grunted
Oink Oink kissed him with a brick.

Wubber Ducky and Oink Oink
Smiled and looked around.
And split a dog log `twixt them
That they found on the ground.
Then they licked their chops and belched twice
And left the pier without a sound.

All of the Grommits lay groaning
In their pools of wubber blood
When the voice of Ork
Came through the bubbles in the mud.
He said `Don't feel to bad you Grommits'
`Here's some nice grape potato spuds'.

Now all the Grommits are happy
Down at Wubber Ducky's pier.
They eat all Ork's grape byproducts
To kill all of their inward fears
And if the Wubber brothers come back
They won't know or care that they're near.


42. Wondering Why

Looking through the barred window
I watch the wind blow
            Over the prison walls
            Majestically tall
            And here the wind call
                        Soon you'll be dead and rotting.
Too soon, the morning will come.
Lord, it's my last one.
            I watch the sky
            Blackened by night
            Wondering why
                        Lord, I don't want to die.
Dreading when I conceded
They said I'd need it.
            They said my mind
            Would reach the sky
            Take me so high
                        That I would be in heaven.
Caring not for tomorrow
I stole and borrowed
            All that I could
            So that I could
            Buy what I could.
Craving built inside me
Helping to blind me.
            Blind me to steal
            Blind me to kill
            For two dollar bills
                        Blind me to die this sunrise.
Too soon, the morning will come.
Lord, it's my last one.
            I watch the sky
            Blackened by night
            Wondering why
                        Lord, I don't want to die.


41. The Time of the Evening

It's the time of the evening to say that I love you
It's the time to say you love me too
            Oh yeah!
It's the time of the evening to say that I love you
More than you do.

It's the time of the evening to turn on the TV
And sit close together on the couch
            Oh yeah!
And turn down the lights so I'll kiss you
Right on the mouth.

Don't say our love isn't a play thing
My love for you is true
            Oh yeah!
I'd marry you, dear, tomorrow
But I got school.

It's the time of the evening to do some necking
To get each other hot and red
            Oh yeah!
But it's getting late, I gotta go home
And go to bed.


35. By the Fireplace (I Sit & Watch Your Body Rot)

As the crimson sun sets slowly in the west
Bringing to the end this special day
When all the woes and troubles in my life
Right before my eyes, just went away
            And by the bright burning fireplace
            I sit still and watch your face
            And think my effervescent thoughts.
            There by the fireplace I sit & watch your body rot.

Your big glassy eyes stare through the flashing fire
Into the depths of eternity
Past the humdrum days of your worthless dulldrum life
And your impositions on me.
            And by the bright burning fireplace
            I sit still and watch your face
            And think my effervescent thoughts.
            There by the fireplace I sit & watch your body rot.

The long leaping flames from the flashing crackling fire
Reflect off the pearl handled knife
Parked so deep inside the now motionless chest
Of you, my dear and loving wife.
            And by the bright burning fireplace
            I sit still and watch your face
            And think my effervescent thoughts.
            There by the fireplace I sit & watch your body rot.
            I sit and watch your body rot.


34. Heartburn

I let the hotdog slip onto the floor
And watched it gayly bouncing out the door
And heard it yell `Baby, please don't get sore,
`But I ain't comin' back on more.'

And then the lemons started rolling `round
They said something `bout being homeward bound
And with their dispositions bright and gay
They packed their bags and rolled away.

And then the kitchen seemed to come alive.
The whole house started rockin' from side to side
Everything from the peanuts to the steaks
Put on their coats and went away.

Sometimes I sit and wonder `bout that day
When all my food just up and went away
I miss them more that I could ever say
I wish I'd tried to make them stay
When they just up and went away
I miss them more that I could say.


33. Cause You're Weird

Isolation sickness drips from saddened eyes
Burning flesh like acid, draining insides dry
Hoping that the `morrow brings a sweeter day
Hoping that their tongues will rot when they smile and say
            You're so weird.

Switch around the eyeballs, looking deep inside
Searching hard and straining to see what they find
Maybe it's what's happening deep inside the brain
Maybe to them they are right when they smile and say
            You're so weird.

Telling acid tongue boys to go and lick some sand
Maybe weird is standard in some other land
Packing brains and insides in a velvet case
Travlin' there and through new eyes turn to them and say
            You're so weird.


32. Uncle Freddy

Hey Uncle Freddy
When you gonna die?
I've been waiting for thirty two years
Just to see you die.

You didn't know that
No one cares for you
All that we want is your money
And your property too

Hey Uncle Freddy
When you gonna die
No one's understanding
Why you're still alive.


31. I Was Once Loved

I was once loved
I was once held
I was once cared for
By my life's dream
            Now I walk the lonely road of sorrow
            Seeking the end of day's dull dream.

I was once loved
I was once held
I lived life only
To love and serve her
            Now I live life only for tomorrow
            Burdened by a hollow loneliness.

I was once loved
I was once held
I was once given
Life's golden years
            Now I life a life without purpose
            Hoping to find what I have lost.

I was once loved.


30. Back Alley Blues

How I long for the witch's hour
When all goodness begins to sour
When hate rules the darkened land
With a firm black leather hand
            `a moanin' back alley blues.

How I long for the moonless night
With the cold air's piercing bite
Hear a scream rip through the streets
Shattering uneasy peace
            `a cryin' back alley blues.

How I long for those blackened days
When a body lived for hate
When the pack rats roamed the street
Searching for their night's feast
            `a screamin' back alley blues.


27. Bitter Lemon

Have you seen the yellow hunchbacks sit
And try to tint their shades
And discuss discord politics
And suck on rotten eggs.
            Have you seen their flowing fire
            With flames of thickened red
            They pat their children on the back
            And stab them in the head

Have you smelled their foul; offensive breath
That waters all the eyes
Of everyone who stands around
And all who may pass by
            Have you heard their inane mumblings
            Which promise soon someday
            They'll pull the knives out of their kids
            And let them run and play.

Have you seen their tired bloodshot eyes
From which flow plastic tears
They say they're sorry for their kids
And have another beer
            Then they call another loved one
            And stab them in the head
            And yellow plastic hunchback tears
            Flow `cause their kid is dead.

Have you seen the yellow hunchbacks sit
And plasticize ideas
And with eyes closed say what is not
And then mumble what is
            Soon they'll eat their cold ambrosia
            And then they's start to die
            Cause somehow yellow poison toadstools
            Got in the mushroom pie.


26. Die Hard Blues

            I've seen you cry
            I've heard you lie
            I've helped you try
            I'll see you die.
           
            As you grow old
            I've watched the mold
            Over you grow
            And watched you grow cold.
           
            I've climbed your mountains
            I've crossed your prairies
            I've lived your lies
            I'll see you die.
           
            I've seen your tears
            Over the years
            Grow with your fears
            And dull your veneer.
           
            And soon someday
            You'll go away
            Stone dead you'll lay
            And slowly decay.
           
            And soon my sorrows
            For my tomorrows
            With you will lie
            When I see you die.


24. Impressions of a Disillusioned Suitor

You've impressed me as somebody with the goal in life
To extricate your debts with cash to subsidize your plight.

Though you're sloth and improvident, you don a good mask
To cover that you're looking for some man to ease life's tasks.

            You have the soul of stagnate muddy water.
            You don't want love, just ample fortunes to spend.

Doff your mask of selfishness and analyze you mind
For if you choose to rearrange it I just may change mine

            Change your low ways and live life without wanting
            Don't use your love for thieving and for deceit.

Elevate your lowly soul and peer into your mind
You may become inebriated by that which you find.


23. On My Turpentine Farm

Money grows on bushes
Mincemeat grows on trees
One can milk a chicken
While stinging a bee
            Everyone's so pleasant
            Even toads got charm
            And all ice cream has bones
                        On my turpentine farm.
Everyone's so happy
Everyone's so pleased
With their lives of loving
With their life of ease.
            Plastic hay is stored up
            In a rubber barn
            In a sugar cube field
                        On my turpentine farm.
Streams are filled with honey
Life is filled with glee
Hate is nonexistent
Life's tranquility.
            Wasps pull out their stingers
            Cows give milk in jars
            Everything's so peaceful
                        On my turpentine farm
Watermelon apples
Grow on turnip trees
Water tastes like root beer
Root beer tastes like tea
            Everyone is friendly
            No one wishes harm
            On their fellow beings
                        On my turpentine farm
 

19. You Ain't Gonna Die (You're Gonna Ugly Away)

You got the disposition of a sewer rat.
You make love like a crippled vampire bat.
You smell something like a mildewed bathroom mat.
When you laugh, ripples flow down your fat.
            You ain't gonna die, you ain't gonna die.
            You ain't gonna die, you're gonna ugly away.

Every time you move, for you it's a major chore.
You got to turn sideways to go through a door.
You're conversation's filled with assorted snorts.
You got the complexion of an infected wart.
            You ain't gonna die, you ain't gonna die.
            You ain't gonna die, you're gonna ugly away.

Ug, ug, ugly away.
You're gonna ug, ug, ugly away.
You're gonna ug, ug, ugly away.
You're gonna ug, ug, ugly away.
            You ain't gonna die, you ain't gonna die.
            You ain't gonna die, you're gonna ugly away.

So take your acid breath and your hairy arms
And get yourself a ride to the nearest freak farm.
And get yourself a job cleaning out the barn.
And maybe some cow will dig all of your charms.
            You ain't gonna die, you ain't gonna die.
            You ain't gonna die, you're gonna ugly away.


17. Trying Not to Get Upset

Standing naked on a bread crumb, crying salty tears.
Biting nails and cracking knuckles, to relieve the fear.
Trying not to get upset, trying not to cry.
Hoping for some miracle, so you'll never die.

Eating buttered peas and onions, on an old ant hill.
Crushing ants and smashing spiders, on a window sill.
Trying hard to break up all the monotony.
Trying to grow apple pie on a mince meat tree.

Peeling `taters in the bathtub, on a Tuesday morn.
Thinkin' that you started dieing, as soon as you'se born.
Got to get it off your mind: eat a rubber band.
Build a chocolate air hole factory for the doughnut man.

Stacking BB's on a marble Wednesday afternoon,
Softly screaming at the sun and swearing at the moon.
Searchin' for the rainbow's end, for that pot of gold.
Planting gardens full of fruit, and harvesting mold.

Whistling Dixie through your navel, drinking turpentine.
Eating pork and radish pudding, just to pass the time.
Trying not to get upset, tryin' to not think why
In less than a century, you'll just up and die.


16. Sweet Death

Slowly I fade into the night.
Hoping to find some revenge on life.
To die the death of an honorable man.
And complete life's awful plan.
            And complete life's awful plan.

So deeply dark, the water's foam.
Beckoning me so loudly to come.
And join the ranks of eternity.
And of this life be free.
            And of this life be free.

Quickly I jump, to avoid thoughts.
To overcome the troubles I've wrought.
The night's cold air streaks past my face.
Death hasn't long to wait.
            Death hasn't long to wait.

Cold black water fills my lungs.
My solemn song, I've finally sung.
It's dark as hell and cold as night.
And sweet death's now in sight.
            And sweet death's now in sight.


12. Opus Twelve

If you think your presence will change me
To the person you want me to be
If you think your wants will appeased
By praising and criticizing me
            Then look around at what I am
            I'm to set in my ways
            Please don't try to change me
            With your love.

If you want the earth and boundless sea
Brought to you and laid down at your feet
If you want to own all that you see
Brought to you by merely loving me
            Then drop your dreams of selfishness
            Your dreams with me will die.
            So please don't try to change me
            With your love.

If you think that loving me will bring
You a life of pure tranquility
If you think your wants will be appeased
By praising and criticizing me.
            Then turn your head and walk away
            Your dreams with me will die.
            For you could never change me
            With your love.


10. My Happy Family

Daddy, Mom & my sister
Live in a house with me
It overlooks a cow pasture
With dead crab apple trees.
            Daddy washes dishes
            Down at Friendly Freddy's Bar
            He sweeps the floor and Drinks
            And puts dry pretzels in a jar.
Mommy fix's TV's
And on Tuesday afternoons
She butchers cows with Daddy
As they whistle merry tunes.
            Sissy collects boy friends
            `Cause she hates to be alone.
            I never see her much
            She doesn't even sleep at home.
Friday is my favorite
`Cause we all get in the car
And go downtown & roll the drunks
At  Friendly Freddy's Bar.
            Then we all sit down
            And wash away the laughter tears
            And talk about the beat up drunks
            And drink Freddy's warm beer.
But I get sick on beer
No matter if it's warm or cold.
So Mommy says I cay drink whiskey
When I'm twelve years old.
            Mommy, Dad and my sister
            Live in a house with me.
            We're such a lovely beautiful
            And happy family.


9. Lost

My mind has over lived my years.
My hate has overcome my fears.
I look around and what I see
Seems only to be seen by me.

My green grass turns grey overnight.
I loose my wars before my fight.
I try to struggle off the ground
But I just keep on falling down.

My life seems predestined by fate.
My loves are molded into hate.
I strain to look, but cannot see
The good in what I'm told to be.

My dreams are crushed by reality.
My faith is deadened by what I see.
My goal to someday reach the sky
Is marred by this mist `round my eyes.

My wants are nullified by no's.
My suns are all smothered with snow.
The thoughts I hear and sights I see
Have lost me to reality.


2. Dear Sergeant

Dear Sergeant be patient with me
I'm new in the army you see
            Please teach me the skill
            On how one does kill
The things that are our enemies

The bayonet for one puzzles me
I am not so sure that I see
            Just what it does do
            Or how it is used
Please explain all the rules to me

If I stab him time and again
And he's still alive, what then?
            Should I just jab him
            Or once again stab him
Or just gouge him time and again?

The flame thrower interests me
But how should you burn enemies?
            Medium rare,
            Or `till their skin's bare
Of flesh and of normality.

About the gun I have with me
Where do I shoot the enemy?
            Below the thighs
            Or right in the eyes?
Please explain all the rules to me.

 

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